Testimonies

Healing

In 2006 I said yes to becoming the Founding Executive Director of our local crisis pregnancy center. I was stunned that the Board of Directors had asked, because I had a ” secret.” A secret they knew nothing about, in fact, not many did! In 1975, before my “Big Fat Greek Wedding”, I experienced an unplanned pregnancy. Scared, my fiance and I did what we thought would be “best” I aborted my first baby. Looking back on it, we both felt that it was our only option. After all, my family and his would be ashamed and heartbroken. Yes, it was our only option. For years I told myself that, however there  was an emptiness that would not leave me.  Guilt, shame, an inability to receive forgiveness, healing and freedom from this decision seemed to haunt me at every turn, but I could never tell anyone, because you see I had been born again, saved! How would people feel if they knew I had chosen to abort my baby! So, in 2007 I went through the Bible Study, Forgiven and Set Free, because I would be referring women to it and I needed to know what it was about. I told myself this, because after all there was nothing wrong with me!  How wrong I was!! The Lord Jesus met me in that study and completely healed me and set me free! My life has not been the same since. It is my heart’s desire to see other post abortive women receive the same forgiveness, healing and freedom that I myself experienced. I want to talk about this every chance I get and to also let people know that just because the government has said abortion is legal, it does not make it lawful in the eyes of a Holy God! One in three women, sitting in the churches today, has experienced the pain of a past abortion. We are in your midst and it is time to come out and receive complete healing!!

Forgiveness

In June 29, 1986 my life completely changed, I became a new creation in Christ Jesus, completely delivered of drugs and drinking completely! But it took two years to deal with the abortions. It was my hidden secret and I was afraid to let anyone know about them in fear that they would not want to be around me. Without the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ, I would not be alive today. After living for years with guilt and shame, I came to the place of admitting what I had done and humbly asked God to forgive me for this. I asked Him into my life and received true redemption and forgiveness. He has given me new life. “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile.” Romans 1:16

Hope

My father was a doctor, I was 17, straight A student heading for college and I went to church every Sunday. Nevertheless, I found myself pregnant. My parents didn’t know that I was pregnant or that I had an abortion that summer. I thought it was a quick fix to my pregnancy but instead it was the beginning of a downward spiral in my life. I was in denial at the time, but it didn’t last forever. Years later, I finally admitted to myself and to God that I had taken the life of my baby. Through talking to others and participating in a post abortion recovery group as well as growing in my Christian faith, I was able to heal from my past. If you are struggling with a past abortion, contact the National Helpline for Abortion Recovery to find local resources to help you find hope and healing.

GT’s Story, 

30 years ago this coming summer, I was 18 years old and pregnant. In complete panic and fear I went straight to Planned Parenthood where I knew I could have an abortion and many of my friends had gone. In boarding school, much like today, abortion was our birth control and I pulled many of my friends under the barbed wire fence in their bloody jeans after they snuck off campus for their abortions. I am a child of this culture … the fifth in my family to experience abortion. I made the appointment on the phone and went…alone. No one spoke to me or counseled me or asked me any questions. They took my check and led me to the table. I had no idea what would take place or how it would affect me and those around me for the rest of my life. I remember, and will never forget the pain is excruciating…the pulling and tugging which I still feel today at times…no amount of pain medication could have stopped cramping that took place during the procedure or the bleeding that followed for 6 more weeks. As tears ran down my face, I suddenly realized that I had made a terrible choice and I there was no turning back now. I thought it was a done deal, but like a very long running nightmare, nothing I could do would make the memories go away. For the next 20 years, they were a daily occurrence. Like snapshots in my mind along with pain …DAILY! Even today, prompted by specific stimulus can create pain in my uterus. Coupled with Guilt, shame and regret, my emotional pain surged in my life and affected every area…my future children and husband received every bit of my anger and confusion. No one could understand and I had nowhere to turn. This traumatic aspect of surgical abortion must be known, and I hope I am making myself clear, is a lifelong and never ending part of a woman who chooses abortion. The only “choice” here is to try to ignore the event, which is impossible. Wounds are buried so deep that they surface in depression, self- mutilation, eating disorders, drug addiction and MANY other forms…..Only by seeking psychological and spiritual help will she be able to rebuild her life…But usually by the time it surfaces, the guilt and shame and silence has complete control…. I have been very blessed to have been counseled by Godly women who have gently and caringly guided me into understanding forgiveness. But truly it has been through my recent CARE classes, which I learned about during my Care Net training, that has released me into my full freedom!! Because of the classes, God has healed all the places of pain that were still hidden very deep inside. Places that only the TRUTH of God’s Word could reach… Today I am honored to serve the Lord as a volunteer peer counselor with Care Net working with women who find themselves in the very same places I have been. This time though, I can provide services and confidential care that was never provided me. Only God could turn the most horrible event in my life, and turn it for good … that’s who He is … that’s what He does. Philippians 2:13 (NIV) 13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Peter 1:3 (NIV) 3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.

 Kay Painter, Idaho

What’s your secret? You know the one you can’t quite believe God could ever forgive you for or love you because of? Many of us today, carry such a guilty secret, one we carry deep inside for fear of being discovered. How could anyone love us IF they knew? BIG SIN, little sin? Where did we ever come up with that concept? I have read my Bible from front to back and I can’t find it. It does say God can’t look on sin, BUT it also says he loves the sinner. If you are like I once was, and are trapped in the lie of having done something so bad that Christ’s blood can’t cover it, that you are not worthy to be saved. READ ON. God cares for YOU! I am thankful that I have no memory of the abortion, but the instant I heard my baby’s helpless body hit the garbage can, I KNEW! I had just killed my own flesh and blood, an innocent life. I was panic-stricken, the nurse callously told me to “calm down, in a few days all would be back to normal.” God doesn’t care where you’ve been, what you’ve done, or how long you’ve been doing it! Don’t be tricked into believing you’re beyond his grace. YOU ARE NOT! In my case it was an abortion. It took God 16 years to get my complete attention and learn to accept his healing grace. Since that time, I promised to share and find just one more like me, buried in unimaginable guilt and shame. The Lord will take away your secret and show his mercy, your sin he will cover with his grace, your guilt for forgiveness. Grace that can forgive a Hitler, a Saddam Hussein, you and even a woman who killed her own baby. Like the prodigal son, he will welcome you home with arms wide open and a celebration. What a Savior! I would love to bring Remembering S.A.R.A Ministries to your area, church, women’s retreat, Bible study or even a one on one. Please feel free to inquire about doing so. I do have references if needed. With God making the opportunities I have spoken on our state capital steps, on the Supreme Court steps in DC, given my testimony by phone to ladies in Holland, and spoken on Fox News, and to many groups and churches. At one woman’s retreat there were 29 ladies in attendance, at alter call there were 6 who stepped out in faith and accepted Gods gift of grace. One lady came to her pastor a week later, making a total of 7 being set free. Help me Lord, to find just one more, just one. In His Service, K Kay was born to a farmer and his wife, in a small rural community outside of Portland, Oregon. She has two daughters and a son. Kay worked in the floral industry for years, until about three years ago. At that time she promised God, she would share her abortion experience to help others. She has been speaking out ever since. She speaks at ladies retreats, pro-life functions, churches, and anywhere possible. She is a counselor at a local Lifeline Pregnancy Center weekly, and works with Generation Life and Idaho Chooses Life groups locally. Contact her by email at remembering_sara@msn.com

From Sin and Sorrow to Service an inspiring book by Kay Painter

“Kay Painter joins the remarkable cadre of twenty-first century voices proclaiming the victorious transformation from the kingdom of darkness to God’s kingdom of love! Pain is being replaced with the hope and promise of a life in Christ, and Kay’s testimony is a how to guide. A must read.”

Dr. Alveda C. King, King For America And Priests For Life

“I am confident From Sin and Sorrow to Service will minister to your heart, regardless of where you’ve been and where you are now.”

 Brad Mattes, Executive Director of Life Issues, Emmy® Award Winner

Alicia Thompson

Our church had someone from one of our local pregnancy care centers come to speak who gave their testimony. I was sitting behind her among the choir as she spoke.  As she spoke my own abortion experience, that I had at the age of 16, started coming to surface. The truth that my baby wasn’t a mass of tissue or a blob, but a life with a beating heart, became a heart wrenching reality. I heard what God’s Word said about it. I felt as though I just wanted to fall to my knees and just crumble from the weight. I started seeing flashes of the people’s faces that I thought would judge and condemn me and started looking around for a door that I could run out of. It had been 38 years that I kept this buried and knew something was terribly wrong and needed to do something about it. After the service, I approached the woman that had come to our church and whispered in her ear “that happened to me” and she had me call her. I found out that they offered a  “Forgiven & Set Free” bible study for post abortion women through their pregnancy care center. Although my life has changed for the better, I still regret my abortion and always will, but know that I have been forgiven. Forgiving myself was harder, but through the “Forgiven & Set Free” bible study, I was able to walk through the healing path with others and with the loving help from the compassionate group leaders, was able to grieve the loss and receive healing.  My hope is that you too will reach out and find hope, healing and forgiveness.

  Phil of Montana writes … Often times, guys seem to get overlooked, left out, or simply forgotten in the ‘life’ equation. This should not be! For every aborted child, there are three people immediately affected, child, mother, and father. I’ve often said that fathers are the key. If each man were to grasp and embrace the full realm of responsibility and accountability regarding honor and respect for the sanctity of human life, today’s landscape would look a whole lot different. I know, this is an awful lot to ask for in the midst of today’s decaying societal values. Yet, there is hope. More and more I see faith based fatherhood programs, men’s mentoring programs, and post-abortion healing for men (Healing A Father’s Heart) move toward the front. I am so thankful for this welcome trend. But, make no mistake, the answer is not just in programs. The only entity that has ever made a positive and permanent change in my life is Jesus. The elements of believing, receiving, and experiencing the immensity of Christ’s Love for each one of us can be and is overwhelming. Forgiveness (outward and inward) can take root and then we can look back and say, “I didn’t know what I didn’t have until I had it.” Our circumstances may not change, but our hearts certainly can and do. Unforgiveness entangled in hurt, resentment, bitterness, anger, hate, and all other such cousins is so devious. It’s like me taking deadly poison, and then expecting the other person to die. What a blessing it is to break free from our self-driven past and find the warm embrace of the Loving Triune God. As Jesus so clearly stated, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.”

Please share Your Story or send your Prayer Request to:  Healing@PersonhoodFL.com

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